Ayyo! Dogs!

On one hand you have male Software Engineers whose average sperm count is slipping down like Dimple Kapadia's clothes while on the other you have dogs who seemed to have become almost as potent as the great Dhritarashtra. Bangalore is going to the dogs. Literally.

I generally come home after 9 in the night. Around that time dogs start trickling in onto the road in twos and threes, like students going into a network management class, if you remember. Every freaking road seems to have at least one pack of dogs - a pack generally varying from 5 to 12 dogs. As time passes and the number of people on the road go down, the dogs become more active. Soon around 12.23 am in the night, dogs take over the road. The worst thing about these dogs is that they have now established territories like Vatal Nagraaj's defeated MLA's union. A pack of dogs is the second most dangerous thing in the nights on an urban street, only second to tempting damsels who gave one unsuspecting yet completely wanting person too many, a momentary happiness and a not so momentary gohnerria, which is not to be confused with this.

From what I have noticed, just the way one notices a verbose instruction after 4 Long Island Iced Teas, which means I may be wrong, dogs are not dangerous because they establish territory. That's the easy part and is achieved naturally i.e. by peeing. The danger is because they end up defending it, like any civilized man would defend his toilet. But the civility ends as soon as at least some 4 dogs decide to chase any vehicle that goes on the road so that they can bite a leg or two off or when they hunt down a 3 year old child, almost trying to beat Micheal Jackson's record.

How can I write about dogs of Bangalore and not mention this plausible story I saw on Crime Dairy.

A few days back, about 20 dogs very waiting behind a billboard, all of them together, levitating 30 feet above the ground so that they can all hide behind the same billboard. They were doing so to eat the legs off of the guy in the Gladiator ad billboard to the left and the kid in the Huggies ad on the right. Just before they could in fact do it, a couple of policemen stopped them and asked them for their RC book and insurance. While one dog frantically searched for the said documents, two others brought them to a side and offered them a huge succulent bone. However, the strict policemen declined the offer and said all twenty dogs will be booked under SPCA violations if they don't pay them 3 bones. Not to mention the possibility of declaring a section 144 just so they can be chained. After a lot of frantic calls and high level influence, the dogs were left off the hooks. Loads of rain, which was later found out to be one dog too many salivating, made them all call it a night and left to the nearest KFC dustbin.

Chilling story I must say. Basically, there are way too many dogs around and its about time we got the sadistic castrating bastards out of our tax collectors.